


The Logic of Compromise

by Namesake



Series: Brainia Mini Fics [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Heart-to-Heart, J'onn is the best dad and Brainy needs one of those goddamnit, Relationship Advice, Space Dad Hank Henshaw | J'onn J'onzz, post 5x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26363437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namesake/pseuds/Namesake
Summary: After Brainy leaves Nia's apartment in the events of 5x03, he goes to J'onn for some advice.Space Dad is happy to oblige.
Relationships: Querl Dox & J'onn J'onzz, Querl Dox/Nia Nal
Series: Brainia Mini Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765648
Kudos: 23





	The Logic of Compromise

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was originally posted to my writing blog owl-with-a-pen.tumblr.com but I dunno, I really liked how this one came out. So much so that I wanted to post it here as well as a little stand-alone. 
> 
> I feel like J'onn and Brainy deserve way more screen time together, there's so much potential for some proper bonding that we just don't get to see. As much as I like Lena and Brainy's relationship, considering what was going on with her storyline at this point, I felt like Brainy deserved something a little more genuine. And, honestly, who better than J'onn? 
> 
> You can find more Supergirl short stories/prompts on my writing blog. Check it out if you like. 😉

After the events that had transpired that night, J’onn found himself drawing comfort from the quiet of his office. Though every wall there reminded him of the memories he had finally recaptured, that in itself felt like recompense for the damage he had inflicted. He had in effect erased his own brother, murdered him from the possible future he might have led and – what’s worse – he had not been honest with Kara about the reason why his brother was so fiercely aggrieved by his actions. Only Nia knew, and every moment he kept this secret from the rest of his friends, the more pain he knew he would cause her to keep it from them also.

And so, yes, this was the perfect psychic prison to wander aimlessly through. He was not trapped in a physical sense, but so long as he did not move forward, he would not be going anywhere.

J’onn was unsure of the time when he was thrown from his thoughts by three very successive knocks on his office door.

At first, J’onn considered ignoring it, but when the knocks continued, becoming more insistent, he realised that he recognised the tempo of them. Reaching out with his psychic energy, he was hit with a sudden and powerful sense of heartbreak. He had felt it from many people in his time, but this, _this_ was different in some way. Unique.

These were not human emotions, nor any other species J’onn had prior knowledge of understanding.

J’onn made for the door, unsurprised to see a familiar silhouette behind the tempered glass.

As he opened the door, he was met with Brainy, although not a Brainy he was particularly familiar with. His hair was mussed, as though he had been caught in the wind, the ends of which were damp, catching across his cheeks. His dark eyes were wet, red rimmed, and J’onn realised with a sinking in his chest that the emotions he had felt from behind the door were exactly as he had suspected.

Brainy wiped at his face with the back of his hand, looking for the first time as vulnerable as J’onn had ever seen him. He cleared his throat awkwardly, hands drawing nervously to his ring finger, twisting it rhythmically.

“J’onn,” Brainy said, raising his chin. A glimmer of his usual confidence echoed behind his eyes, but it reached no visible part of him. “I-I appreciate that this might not be the best of times to speak with you-”

“It’s fine, Brainy,” J’onn said immediately. And, he realised, it was. Seeing Brainy this way, _feeling_ the emotions that so clearly exuded from him… J’onn would not be who he was if he were to turn Brainy away. No part of himself would dare even think it. “Please, come in.”

Brainy’s eyes darted from J’onn’s face to the apartment’s interior. He swallowed again, taking a step into the room. “I don’t want to burden you with unnecessary stress,” Brainy continued. “After what you have gone through with your brother-”

“It’s a much-needed distraction, believe me,” J’onn said, hoping he conveyed his sincerity with his eyes. When Brainy’s shoulders loosened slightly, and a little of the tension lessened in his back, J’onn thought he might have received the message.

J’onn guided Brainy to one of the sofas, although it took Brainy several moments to collect himself enough to sit. He paced at first, hands trembling, thoughts racing. J’onn wondered if there was any way he might be able to lessen the burden that so clearly weighed Brainy down, but if this was about what he suspected… there was no easy cure.

Eventually, Brainy sat, eyes downcast.

“Brainy,” J’onn said levelly, once he had taken a seat of his own. “Can I ask? Is this about your relationship with Nia?”

Brainy blinked up at him, and the tears in his eyes crystalized like glass. “I-” he said, then closed his mouth. He sighed. “She told me that she would prefer I not be myself around her.”

It was hard to get a clear idea of how true Brainy felt his statement was. J’onn would not read a person’s mind without their permission, would certainly not wade into the depths of their most honest and personal thoughts. But, Brainy’s emotions were so chaotic that they practically radiated from him like a particularly bright star. It would have been difficult to ignore them.

“Ah,” J’onn said knowingly. “The poetry?”

Brainy’s lips twisted.

Sore mark, J’onn realised. He sighed. “I may have noted it when Nia was helping me with something earlier.”

“It is not just that,” Brainy said, his voice dulled. “She- she told me that she wanted for me to feel as though I could be myself around her and yet… when I _was…_ she could not…” He closed his eyes, and twin tears tumbled down his face. “It is not her fault. It is mine. I do not want to be a burden on her, it is the _last_ thing I wanted. And if I am, then I should not be with her.”

J’onn stared at Brainy quizzically. He had never had the chance to raise his own children to adulthood, although with Kara and Alex, it felt in a way that a piece of his daughters would survive through his bond with them. He understood heartbreak, his own experiences along with the minds of so many others, and perhaps it was not his place to guide Brainy. But Brainy _had_ come to him for guidance. At least, J’onn had assumed that the case.

“Brainy,” J’onn said softly, leaning forward. “Is that what you truly believe?”

Brainy stared at J’onn uncomprehendingly. “There is no other way,” he said numbly. “If I am hurting her then surely-”

“Do you not think that by making this decision, that would also hurt her?”

Brainy blinked; more tears escaped, joining the others by his chin. He wiped at them unthinkingly. “I… I don’t understand.”

J’onn’s lips curved. It was always so fascinating, speaking with a Coluan. In truth, J’onn had not known much of the species and most of his knowledge had come from studying Brainy’s own ancestors. Brainy was nothing like his bloodline – he was open, honest, loyal and caring. His emotions weren’t tethered or locked away in the same way as his kin, they were present and raw. Bright and startling. It was a breath of fresh air when regarding the Coluan species.

But, despite Brainy’s emotions, he was still bound by the logic that his upbringing had instilled in him. J’onn couldn’t imagine the outlook someone with a mind like Brainy’s would have, but it was enough to see that, in many cases, although intelligent, Brainy was rather inept. Especially when it came to the complex emotions of others. Of humans.

“Let me ask you this,” J’onn said, eyes narrowing. “If Nia were to do something that you did not like, if she took an action too far, made you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, how might you react?”

Brainy sniffed, straightening in his seat. “I would assimilate,” he said frankly.

J’onn’s lips quirked. “Do you see how that might not be the correct course of action?”

Brainy frowned. “I do not.” He lifted a finger. “Assimilating to situations in relationships gives no room for conflict.”

“And yet,” J’onn said, gesturing to the room, “you are here.”

Brainy lowered his hand, opening his mouth. He stared blankly ahead of himself before pursing his lips. “Oh.”

J’onn sighed. “Brainy, relationships between different alien species will always come with a certain level of difficulty.” He gestured to himself. “For example, if I were to have a relationship with a human, I would never be able to be completely open with them in the same way I would with a fellow Green Martian. Simply stated, humans do not possess the same abilities, they could not share their mind in the same way. They could keep secrets, a facet that would be impossible for my species. That is fine, of course, but it would add complications, ones that could be worked through with further communication. Are you following?”

Brainy shook his head. “But Nia and I do not have conflicting powers.”

Brainy was not being honest with himself, J’onn knew, and so he met his gaze solidly. “Are you sure about that?”

“Not with one hundred per cent certainty,” Brainy said reluctantly.

“Brainy,” J’onn said simply. “Your species are brash, your understanding of emotions are far more detailed than a human’s. Humans do not map their emotions to a situation, are incapable of controlling any aspect of how they feel. Chemicals control their brains, but you, in part, can control your emotional state with your enhancements. Correct?”

Perhaps J’onn should not have asked, because Brainy’s expression tightened and he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “It is not something I try to do often,” Brainy admitted lowly.

“But it is something you can do?”

“Yes.” Brainy looked reluctant to continue their conversation, however after a moment of shuffling, he looked up, toying awkwardly with his ring. “J’onn, I do not wish to impeach your advice, but… I have spent so much time hiding from myself. Building safety nets, honing in the various parts of me tainted by an outsider’s mindset.” He frowned suddenly, hands stilling. “Nia told me I could be myself with her. Now she tells me that she does not like that person.”

“Did she say that?”

“I-”

J’onn smiled honestly. “Brainy, what exactly did she say?”

Brainy opened his mouth, but when he spoke, it wasn’t with his voice. Instead, it was an impeccably accurate recording of one Nia Nal. “It’s _too much._ ”

J’onn chuckled, shaking his head. When Brainy looked at him with clear affront, he raised his hands in a half surrender. “Forgive me, but I think you will find that, with humans, not liking who you _are,_ and expressing that someone is _too much_ are vastly different things.”

Brainy’s frown deepened. “What do you mean?”

J’onn sighed. “Brainy, communication is not always easy, but what Nia told you was her way of opening the relationship. She expressed something she was not comfortable with and, unlike you, she cannot assimilate to the situation.” J’onn quirked his brow. “Say Nia forced you to every party she went to, and insisted you were the centre of attention at all times. That is an environment you would be uncomfortable with, right?”

“I-”

“Assimilation might ensure that there is no conflict,” J’onn continued, “but it would not make the relationship stronger. Instead, it may grow brittle as you would clearly feel uncomfortable with something and there would be no resolution to those emotions. Nia broached a subject with you that she knew would not be easy, and for humans, when they realise that a certain behaviour of theirs is difficult, they work with their partner to find a balance. They call it compromise.”

“I know what compromise is,” Brainy said thickly. He glanced away uneasily. “I just… I have spent so _long_ hiding from certain aspects of myself, afraid to be who I am or… or at times I have feared I may not even know who that person is. I operate at one hundred per cent functionality, it is how it has been for…” Brainy stopped himself suddenly, tipping his head forward with a shaky sigh. “Simply put, I do not know how I can change that, or if-if I _can._ It would be more logical to-”

“Do not think with logic,” J’onn said quickly. “What does your heart tell you?”

Brainy raised his head at that, precarious strands of hair slipping across his face. His dark eyes clouded. “My… my heart?”

Brainy looked so honestly curious, and J’onn had to try very hard to keep from smiling again. _Coluans._ Endlessly intriguing beings that they were could be so very inept at times. With the thoughts that were rolling off Brainy, J’onn thought it safe to reach out his hand and, when Brainy didn’t jerk away, he placed it steadily across his knee. “Channel the way you felt when you first confessed your feelings to her,” J’onn told him. “Use that and tell me, what does your heart tell you?”

Brainy glanced down at J’onn’s hand warily. “J’onn…”

“Just try.”

Brainy’s jaw stiffened. He wiped idly at his face, drawing in a shaky breath. Then, he closed his eyes. “I love her,” he said simply. “I love her so much it causes physical pain to think that I have hurt her. I want to make her happy, I had _thought_ I was making her happy, but… but…”

Pain – so striking it nearly tore through J’onn’s own chest. He hadn’t expected it at such a high volume, but it made sense. J’onn reprimanded himself for not realising it sooner. “You have never been in love before,” he said.

Brainy grimaced. “No.”

“And that scares you.”

“Yes.”

J’onn’s expression softened. Perhaps Nia was not Brainy’s first lover, but she was most certainly the first person he had ever fallen in love with. The emotions that rippled from him were certain of that, pure and dazzling.

“Brainy,” J’onn said carefully, “being asked to tone down a part of yourself may feel like an impossible task, but Nia did not mean to be cruel by it. Compromise is not always easy, sometimes it means rethinking the way you approach certain situations. If you would assimilate to a situation that you found difficult, consider that perhaps, in this instance, avoiding say, writing excessive poetry, would benefit your relationship with her. Is it such a hard task to see how you might put your focus of functionality into other tasks?”

Brainy’s eyes were downcast.

Impulsively, J’onn squeezed Brainy’s knee. “No one is asking you to change who you are at your core, Nia loves that person, I am very sure. But small compromises, even ones that allow you to maintain awareness of certain impulsive behaviours, would benefit you both.”

Brainy nodded slowly, opening his eyes. “It is… possible,” he admitted. “It would take considerable energy. I will need time.”

“You are welcome to stay here if you need your space,” J’onn said. “But I urge you to share this with Nia as soon as you feel able.”

Brainy’s eyes darted to J’onn suddenly. “It is not her burden to bear.”

J’onn chuckled, patting Brainy’s leg sympathetically. “That is not your decision to make, Brainy. Allow her to choose whether she would like to help you. I am confident she will want to. She loves you.”

Brainy’s eyes lit up at that. For just a moment, a little of his confidence returned. He nodded once, straightening on the sofa. “Thank you, J’onn,” he said. “This has been… helpful.”

And J’onn knew that Brainy was telling the truth. Already, that pain was turning into something else. An emotion rather unique to Coluans – or at the very least, Brainy – an odd sort of enthusiasm that was entirely stemmed from uncovering the innerworkings of an intricate puzzle.

J’onn supposed there was no puzzle more complex than that of human emotion – of the heart. He only hoped Brainy would find his way.

And, quietly, a part of him hoped that Brainy would know he could always come to him for help. Even if it _was_ in the early hours of the morning.


End file.
